| [a.21st.bday.and.a.ride] |
[03 Sep 2003|07:47am] |
I hope everyone had a fun Labor Day holiday. Mine was quite interesting. It was ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) shivatempra's roommate Treasure's 21st birthday. To celebrate, me, shivatempra and robinhoodvandal took Treasure out to Awful Arthur's for drinks. It was quite a bit of fun, despite some weird looking guy sitting behind robinhoodvandal kept giving me weird dirty looks. The three of us each had a Too Drunk to Fuck, a Redheaded Slut, an Awesome Arthur (although robinhoodvandal knocked hers over and most of it went on my foot and on the floor), and a blue motorcycle. I like Awful Arthurs dinks better than Macados, since they actually give you the alcohol that you pay for.
After we left Awful Arthur's, shivatempra decided to take us out for a drive on 12 'o clock Knob road, which is this really twisty road out in the boonies of Salem. Since the rest of us were drunk, it was kind of like being on a roller coaster ride. And we were pretty drunk. In fact, robinhoodvandal and I ended up kissing while we were careening down the road. Crazy fun I tell ya. Hell, I had more fun on Treasure's 21st than I did on my own.
And now, for your viewing pleasure, ( piXors )
Enjoy!
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[31 May 2003|02:21pm] |
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My allergies have been acting up horribly the past couple of days. I woke up this morning because I couldn't breathe (plus I was having a dream that I was being suffocated). It's no fun. And it looks like it's going to be a yucky day today, which figures, because somehow the weather machine must have known I wanted to go swimming. Bastard machine. Also I was going to wear those new pants I got yesterday, but not if it's going to rain and get all muddy and yucky. Screw that.
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| It's for certain, I WILL graduate this Saturday!!! |
[30 Apr 2003|04:38pm] |
I'm so happy! I just got my grades and I know for a fact that I will be able to graduate. I was worried for a bit, but now my fears are quenched. Hooray!!
Final grades: Judaism: A
Christianity: A-
Physics: B
Nutritional Chemistry: B-
Hell yes! I would like to thank Betsy and shivatempra for being my Physics study partners this semester. I couldn't have gotten that B without them!
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[29 Apr 2003|11:16pm] |
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music |
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Corey Hart - Sunglasses at night |
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I made a new layout for my roommate, robinhoodvandal. Go check it out. I totally rock.
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| Can't Get Over You |
[28 Apr 2003|11:09pm] |
I see you everyday
Everytime I walk into my room
You look back at me
I wonder what you're thinking.
Where are you now?
Do you still think about me?
Do you still love me?
Are you over me?
I think I'll never get over you.
I think of you constantly,
every day.
You haunt my dreams
and my thoughts.
Why can't you be next to me?
I miss you so much.
I want you to be with me,
Always.
Yes, that's right.
I want you as mine forever.
Forever and Always.
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| I wrote this a long time ago |
[28 Apr 2003|11:06pm] |
I am sorry
though it means nothing
I wish I had, but I didn't
I wish you knew, but you don't
To explain myself, to explain the sky
You may never know
But at least I knew
All the time I said I wasn't
I was
Every time I said it
I didn't mean it
When I pretended not to know you
I did, all too well
Everytime I said we shouldn't,
I prayed we would
All the time I said I didn't
I did
Apologies are worthless
but they mean something
Did I know I was wrong
Was it your mistake
All the time I said I hate you
I meant I love you
Everytime I sleep I dream
of the lies I said
And all the time I said I didn't need you
I really did
I said I'm sorry
and this time I am
But what does it mean
I'm not lying but why should you believe me
Cause all the time I said I wouldn't
I fell in love with you
----------+> 2/28/97
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| waxing philosophical here.... |
[28 Apr 2003|10:27pm] |
Having a livejournal has given me the chance to read into other peoples lives. Since I've been able to have that experience, I've come to realize several things. One of the most interesting things I've realized is this: the whole time I was going through hell with Jason, I thought I was having a unique experience, that no one else anywhere, ever, had felt the pain that I felt. I felt I had been betrayed worse than anyone ever had been. I was wrong. Reading through livejournal has showed me that there are hundreds, if not thousands, of teenage girls who go through the same thing and feel the same feelings. As much as I hate to know that they are suffering, it is sort of comforting to know that I wasn't truly as alone in the situation as I felt. I simply didn't know anyone who was going through it. Also considering that I'm 22 now as opposed to 15 or 16 or 17 helps out a little. I can see how we were both immature and had expectations of each other that were too high. I'm glad we've been able to remain friends while getting on with our lives. I just hope my friends realize that it's not the end of the world if their relationships don't work out. Sure, it hurts. Sure, you feel like you're losing the only true love of your life. Sure, it really sucks to see him with the new girl. But if you truly love someone, you can let them go. Truly loving someone allows you to put their happiness above yours. If Steve was truly unhappy with me and wanted out, I would let him go. It would hurt like hell, and it would take me a disgustingly long time to get over him. But I would let him go, because I want him to be happy, and it wouldn't be making him happy if I was just trying to keep him with me so that I could be happy. I don't want to make someone stay with me who doesn't want me.
Plus, just when you think you've lost the best thing you've ever had, something even better might be waiting around the corner.
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[26 Apr 2003|01:40pm] |
Xodus Magazine
Volume 1, Issue 2
Spring 2003
OUT IN THE HOUSE
No hazing, no humiliation and a couple of homos as members? This
ain't your typical college frat.
BY WALTER MEYER
Fraternity Row might be the last place you'd expect to see a rainbow
flag flying, given the scene's long association with homophobia But
that's changing a bit, at least at one university.
Marco Valenzuela is the vice-president of membership development for
Sigma Phi Epsilon at the University of California, Irvine. He's also
openly gay; he came out to his fraternity brothers around a campfire
at their retreat last November.
The reaction? All positive, and though he was a bit nervous about
telling them, he didn't expect trouble. The house had two openly gay
members in the past and has a gay faculty mentor.
Eric "Gumby" Anderson is a lecturer working on his Ph.D. in Sociology
at UCI. Since last year he's volunteered as the faculty mentor of Sig
Ep.
Gumby teaches a course called "Men and Masculinities."
Among other things, the course examines the reasons behind homophobia
and how to combat it. After taking the class, a few members of Sig Ep
asked him to talk to their fraternity. Like many fraternities, Sig Ep
invites speakers periodically, usually to talk about drinking, time
management or other issues of concern to college students.
His talk had such an impact, they asked Gumby to become faculty
mentor. Needless to say, Gumby was shocked by the request
"There are huge differences in fraternities," Gumby says.
"Fraternities are like children. They're each going to do something
to identify themselves. There's the smart one, the athletic one, the
bad one."
Sig Ep has always been a little different. Fifty years ago they were
the first traditionally white fraternity to admit African-Americans.
The fraternity added "sexual orientation" to their non-discrimination
on policy in 1999. Hazing is a thing of the distant past and there is
a no humiliation policy when rushing new pledges. In fact, they
aren't even called pledges, simply "new members."
No other fraternity at UCI even has a faculty mentor - they just
wanted a way to make Gumby part of the house.
Although he was in favor of asking Gumby to be their mentor, chapter
president John Mavros was a little concerned about how it would afect
the fraternity. Would they become known as the "fag frat" on campus?
" It really hasn't been a problem, and I don't see it as one," Mavros says now.
He says once in a while at sporting events he hears someone yell
"fag," but given the word's common use, he isn't sure they mean
anything in particular by it.
Almost immediately after Gumby, started hanging at the house, one of
the members, Jairo Gutierrez, came out to his fraternity brothers.
Gutierrez told Gumby he felt comfortable enough coming out if Gumby
was willing to accept the position of faculty mentor. And Gumby's
sure his presence made it easier for Marco to come out.
"He needed me," Gumby says, "He need Jairo to come out. He needed
that support."
If Sig Ep seems like some kind of squeaky clean new-age fraternity
it's not. The morning after a party, it is littered in empty beer
bottles and plastic cups. The stereo blasts loud enough to hear miles
away.
But the actions of Sig Ep may be opening things up: another
fraternity at UCI, Sigma Alpha Epsilon, recently accepted a gay
pledge. Mavros thinks his house helped break the ice a bit and made
it more acceptable for others to have gay members.
"I think it's still scratching the surface," he adds. "It's kind of
early before everything is going to change. Those deep traditions of
hazing and all that 'masculine stuff' just aren't going to change
soon."
Gumby says some of the guys from Sigma Alpha Epsilon had also taken
his class and after they accepted the gay pledge, called him to tell
him what they'd done.
As Marco, John and Gumby share in the good news, one of the
fraternity, brothers laughs and adds, "Why would straight guys have a
problem with guys being gay? It's less competition for me!"
Copyright 2003 Xodus Magazine, Inc.
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| interesting article |
[25 Apr 2003|04:17pm] |
Why Is Torah Law So Restrictive of Contact Between the Sexes?
By Manis Friedman
Question:
I understand that Torah law forbids all physical contact between a man and a woman -- or even for them to be alone in a room together -- unless they are first-degree relatives or married to each other. This applies to any man and any woman, regardless of their ages or whether or not they are sexually attracted to each other. And then there are all those rules about "modest" dress. Isn't that carrying it a bit far? Are we really such animals?
Answer:
When a man and woman are together in a room, and the door closes, that is a sexual event. Not because of what is going to happen, but what has already happened. It may not be something to make novels of, but it is a sexual occurrence, because male and female is what sexuality used to be all about.
It is true that in our world today, in the "free world" certainly, people have, on the whole, stopped thinking in these terms. What happened was that we started putting up all these defenses, getting steeled, inured, against the constant exposure and stimulation of men and women sharing all sorts of activities -- co-educational school, camps, gyms -- is that we started blocking out groups of people. We can't be as naturally sexual as G-d created us to be. When a man says, "I have a woman friend, but we're just friends, nothing more, I'm not attracted to her in any sexual way, she's not my type," you've got to ask yourself what is really going on here. Is this a disciplined person? Or is this a person who has died a little bit?
What does he mean "she's not my type?" When did all this typing come into existence? It's all artificial. It's not true to human sexuality. And it really isn't even true in this particular context because given a slight change of circumstance, you could very easily be attracted. After all, you are a male, she's a female. How many times does a relationship begin that is casual, neighborly, and then suddenly becomes intimate? The great awakening of this boy and girl who are running around, doing all sorts of things, sharing all sorts of activities, and lo and behold, they realize -- what drama, what drama -- that they are attracted to each other. These are grown-ups, intelligent human beings, and it caught them by surprise. It's kind of silly.
So closing a door should be recognized as a sexual event. And you need to ask yourself: Are you prepared for this? Is it permissible? Is it proper? If not, leave the door open. Should men and women shake hands? Should it be seen as an intimate gesture? Should any physical contact that is friendly be considered intimate? Hopefully, it should.
These laws are not guarantees against sin. They have never completely prevented it. There are people who dress very modestly. They cover everything. They sin. It's a little more cumbersome but they manage. All these laws are not just there to lessen the possibility of someone doing something wrong. They also preserve sexuality -- because human sexuality is what G-d wants. He gave us these laws to preserve it, to enhance it -- and makes sure it's focused to the right places and circumstances -- not to stifle it.
We have become callous about our sexuality. Even in marriage, a kiss on the run cheapens it, makes it callous -- then we run to the therapist for advice. And do you know what the therapist who charges $200 an hour for his advice says? He tells the couple not to touch each other for two weeks. Judaism tells you that free of charge. Yes, there are two weeks each month during which a husband and wife don't touch. This therapy has been around for 3000 years. And it still works. It's a wonderful idea.
When you don't close the door on yourself and that other person, you are recognizing your own sexuality. You are acknowledging the sexuality of the other person. Being modest, recognizing our borders, knowing where intimacy begins and not waiting until it is so intimate that we're too far gone, is a very healthy way of living. It doesn't change your lifestyle dramatically, but enhances it dramatically, and you come away more capable of relaxing, better able to be spontaneous, because you know that you can trust yourself. You've defined your borders. Now you can be free. It takes a load off your mind and it makes you a much more lovable person.
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[25 Apr 2003|04:01pm] |
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I am distraught. I called Hair Plus to make an appointment for highlights and a trim, and I found out that my stylist (the same one I've had for like 5 years) doesn't work there anymore. This is terrible! Who will I be able to entrust my hair to? And will my new stylist have as good of taste in movies as she did? Dammit!!
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| to quote my big sis Lyre... |
[25 Apr 2003|03:30pm] |
Stick a fork in me, because I'm so done!!! NO MORE UNDERGRADUATE ANYTHING! WAHOO!
I am done with exams! No more physics, no no no! No more! Now, all I have to do is.... GRADUATE!
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| new from my big sis |
[24 Apr 2003|07:07pm] |
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A major research institution recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science, tentatively name "administratium." Administratium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 111 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by a force called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of peons.
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| three down, one more left |
[24 Apr 2003|04:45pm] |
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I've gotten through my nutri chem exam, my xianity exam, and my jewish exam. Tomorrow: physics exam, then, getting slam ass drunk!
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[17 Apr 2003|10:44am] |
i was in a bit of a cleaning mood today. i finally decided to take robinhoodvandal up on her offer to use the front closet to store some boxes of stuff. (not like she could technically stop me, since we pay half the rent and it's half ours). i didn't do nearly as much reorganizing of my room as i wanted to, but explota was sleeping and i didn't want to disturb him too much. i think the cats are upset that they no longer have a perch at my window. but since i still have tons of boxes, i'd be more than willing to stack them in the living room to give them a perch.
i'm going to get laid now. bye bye.
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[15 Apr 2003|12:46pm] |
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yesterday wasn't too bad. Celeste (the girl from Sunday) came by my work, and I hung out with her on my lunch break. pretty much, we spent most of it chilling in her car, doing the small get-to-know-you talk. then, i suppose we'd pretty much had enough of *talking*, since the next thing i knew, she had her tongue in my mouth. not that i'm complaining, mind you. :-) she tastes like she smells - delicious (to borrow from dave chappelle). and hey, she must have really liked me, or else she wouldn't have wanted to kiss someone who smells like greasy fast food. we might get together this friday while my boyfriend is at work. i told him all about what happened, and all he said was "nacho cheese". :-) i'm engaged, i'm getting girly action, and i'm about to graduate. it just doesn't get much better!
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[13 Apr 2003|03:01pm] |
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Today was a pain in the ass. Work was so fucking busy, I don't know where all these people came from. There was one highlight to my day, however. Some girl from Hollins College came in and kinda hit on me. I say kinda, but I suppose there's not really any "kinda" to it. She was definitely interested. I say this because she was bugging Shane to get my phone number, which I told him he could give her. (Sly thing that I am, I had already written it down and told him to just *drop* it in her bag). It will be interesting to see if she calls. I think we could definitely have a fun time together.
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[12 Apr 2003|07:42pm] |
The Supremes - You Just Keep Me Hanging On
Set me free, why don't cha babe
Get out my life, why don't cha babe
'Cause you don't really love me
You just keep me hangin' on
You don't really need me
But you keep me hangin' on
Why do you keep a coming around
Playing with my heart?
Why don't you get out of my life
And let me make a new start?
Let me get over you
The way you've gotten over me
Set me free, why don't cha babe
Let me be, why don't cha babe
'Cause you don't really love me
You just keep me hangin' on
Now you don't really want me
You just keep me hangin' on
You say although we broke up
You still wanna be just friends
But how can we still be friends
When seeing you only breaks my heart again
And there ain't nothing I can do about it
Woo, set me free, why don't cha babe
Woo, get out my life, why don't cha babe
Set me free, why don't cha babe
Get out my life, why don't cha babe
You claim you still care for me
But your heart and soul needs to be free
Now that you've got your freedom
You wanna still hold on to me
You don't want me for yourself
So let me find somebody else Hey!
Why don't you be a man about it
And set me free
Now you don't care a thing about me
You're just using me
Go on, get out, get out of my life
And let me sleep at night
'Cause you don't really love me
You just keep me hangin' on...
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[12 Apr 2003|05:02pm] |
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I need to get this a paid account so I can do some more tweaking to the layout on this thing. Soon, maybe? Perhaps for the b-day?
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